Holy cow, god, break it off!
Thats terrible.
If you didn't stay with him, you wouldn't need to call someone for help when he beats you.
**** yeah dont let that ***** beat you
leave his ***
YOU DONT DESERVE THAT
you must be kidding.
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Spam Filtered (ID:3479677)
Is that forgivable?
follow your heart
(I like it)
It's forgivable but not advisable.
You clearly acknowledge that it's a sin. And why is it a sin? Not only because it mocks the murder of innocent children, but because it exploits the trauma and misery inflicted on women who choose to terminate unwanted pregnancies.
Shocking is not necessarily amusing and you'll regret actions like these one day. I'm not humorless, but as you mature you'll find yourself feeling more compassion toward people who have gone through the trauma of abortion. This is true whether you're pro-life or pro-choice: no one is cheering abortion on.
It all depends on you.
I've never understood the idea of using Halloween as a time to make a political statement.
You must repent of your sin BEFORE before God will forgive.
If you have to ask about it, then it's probably not a good idea. Honestly, I don't think it's a good idea. Even though you're probably a Christian and against abortion, I assume, and it is a funny idea, I think that if I saw someone wearing this, I would be completely disgusted. Especially for mothers. It's a creative thought, but too close to home for some people. I don't think it's a good idea.
Kinda poor taste, but y'all don't seem to suffer from a wealth of that anyway.
Btw, is "back-ally" a Freudian slip?
Better hide your Cold Mountin' DVD.
Jesus, not so much, because he would respect a woman's rights.
The biblical god will love that, if that egotistical monster exists.
Not only is that forgivable, its completely hilarious.
I think Jesus would get a kick out of that.
He was smart enough to understand the difference between irony and malice.
Man Thats kinda sick but I'm sure you will be forgiven as long as you don't actually perform any abortions
Let's say you bump into Him....
Of course he will forgive you, but how would you feel asking Him right there?
What if someone who lost a child sees you, will it hurt them?
man people have the weirdest halloween costume ideas this year.....
I wouldn't recommend doing that anyway... It's pretty tasteless.
Your mom won't take you trick-or-treating if you wear a costume like that.
Splatter some ketchup on yourself, too.
ahahahahahahaha
I think it sucks.
Why would you do that???!!!!!!
If you have to question than dont do it! but he only will if you ask him too and mean it.
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Spam Filtered (ID:3479677)
Attach the feathers to either a piece of starchy, stiff cloth (to be pinned to pants) or to a piece of cardboard which can be glued, taped, tucked, or I guess even pinned to pants or a belt.
Maybe use styrofoam (from the craft store, or left over packing material) rather than the heavier upholstery foam. Not terribly durable, but maybe it doesn't need to last long?
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Spam Filtered (ID:3479677)
"The Janith" is correct... I used to work with the Warner Brother's Costume Characters.
If this is a non-professional costume (guessing from the coat-hanger), the BEST way is to make the tail SEPARATE: cut a slit in the back of the costume and feed the tail thru it.
The tail should be attached to a belt worn under the costume, made of fabric or leather. There should be a fairly big attachment point... 9"x9" attached to the belt, padded to protect your tush. I've seen some where the wire from the tail is curved into a 6" circle, then sewn to leather... OR screwed with wire-clamps to 1/4" thick plywood. THIS provides a VERY stable and secure TAIL (kids and others LOVE to play with the tail). This also allows you to replace a tail with little effort.
JUST FYI... the tail ALWAYS moves BEST if it's actually attached at a point about 2-3 " BELOW the tush... it REALLY wiggles & sways that way.
Make a slit in the costume for the tail to go through, and then attach the tail to a harness or a belt that you'd wear under the costume. Email me for details if you need them.
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Spam Filtered (ID:3479677)
If every (or most) pair of pants has a belt with it, that's probably too many belts. Get rid of the ones that are low quality, ugly, or that she never wears. Then, buy a belt hanger or use pants hanger (with the clips. You can buy additional clips and clip them right on.)
i use a coat hanger, the kind that have 2 rows of 5 hooks, and you hang it on the wall, it carries alot of belts and it looks like your selecting belts just like you do at a clothing store.
They actually make belt hangs thats what my dad uses to organize his belts anyways!!
I also use a couple of hangers and just make sure that the belts are not overlapping and fasten them to the bottom portion of the hanger only. Before that I had a drawer but I wanted easier access to them.
roll them up and put them in drawers.
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Spam Filtered (ID:3479677)
hahaha. when i was 16, one of my guy firends accidently punched me in the face and i was gushing blood and had a fat lip for a week. If she understands it was an accident and you've appoligized, the best thing to do is just let it go cuz all it's gonna do is eat you up inside. everyone makes mistakes.
stop getting on her nerves wit saying i sorry just remeber and when u see something that she likes get it or if she tired give a message just do nice things and stop saying i sorry that is annoying and if you get her somthing don't say this is me saying i sorry just do it and don't say nothing bout the accident
buy her a drank
Buy for her a gift what she likes best....to feel her better.
You apologized, she'll be fine, let it go. It wasn't a serious injury and doesn't require you grovelling or going out of your way to make amends...accidents happen.
Do something nice for her in the near future, if it would make you feel better...but the constant apologizing is probably really getting on her nerves by now (it would mine).
If you keep going on about it then she might think that it was more than an accident, otherwise you had already apologized and showed that you felt sorry, what more could she want?
It was an accident right? If you didn't do it on purpose, and she wasn't tragically hurt, your sincere apology is enough
give her some roses and a apology card. it was an accident you shouldnthave to do that but it wouldnt hurt.
I think you've done enough. If you want you can buy her a box of cute band-aids...it might make her laugh.
Wow. What a situatioN! Well i suggest you apologize and tell her it was a mistake. What else could she possibly want from you?
Nothing more than you have done. It was an accident and you have apologized not to mention she knows it was an accident. Of course she cried a little, blows to the nose hurt! Now you can learn from this, in the future when you are playing around be careful and think about if what you are doing could harm someone.
kiss it....=]
ice cream!
makes everything better
Buy her bandaids - J.K.
Send her flowers - they have set ups that say "sorry"
Be sure to include a little stuffed animal of some sort :)
Accidents happen - a friend of mine got shot in the eye with an elastic by one of my ex boyfriends - it is all fun and games till some one gets hurt. We laugh hysterically about it now -
give her something..like a sorry gift
theres nothing you can do other than apologize to her wich youve already done ...it was an accident right?..she should realize that...if shes mad at you for an accident in wich youve already apologized for then thats her problem...you cant do anything about that...but im guessing shes prob not mad at you for it...and she prob wouldnt want you to beat yourself up over it either
Buy her a gift.
1. Make sure she knows you are sorry - apologise again when you are alone.
2. If you feel she still doesn't know how sorry you are, buy her a present or a special card that show how much she means to you. Present doesn't have to be expensive! It could be a day out or a picnic or something you made (something more sentimental than materialistic)
Hope that helps!
xx
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Spam Filtered (ID:3479677)
i roll mine up and keep them in my hanging shoe rack
i hang them on a hanger. you can also hang them on those racks wear you hang jackets, dresses, and other clothes that you don't want to get wrinkled.
put the buckly part , the long thing your stick int the belt hole put that on the hanger and it will fit thats were i put mine an i dont have a problem with it at all.
of put up a nail in the wall and hang them from the belt buckle it self it it will never fall
answer mine
well i just put mine on a hook but if you have a belt buckle i just ut it on the dresser flat
I hang mine on these hooks I have on the back of my door, you can buy them for like $5 from Walmart (:
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Spam Filtered (ID:3479677)
and i try to hang them somewhere
but thier always fallin off
is there any kind of belt hanger
and where can you find them thanks
Yes there is. I purchased one at Target for $3.99 regular price about 2 weeks ago. Its in the area with irons, clothes hangers, etc. I couldn't find it online.
Go to the Container Store.
Don't think so, but I use a key rack for one. It's very convenient to hang in the inside door to your closet.
You can use a tie rack and mount it inside the closet---Wal Mart has a large selection of this sort of thing, check it out.
Yes there is. I got one for christmas. It is basically the top of a hanger and instead of branching out like a hanger does it has a series of hooks that you can hang other things, like belts on. Check the link below
tie em to your waist and then twist to and fro. Repeat if necessary then wash vigorously with vodka until wet.
yeah, there are different hangers for belts...some round, some round with a hanger shape on the top, some more like hooks...i'd suggest the one thats simply round, its easiest to remove which ever belt you want...you could look in bed bath beyond type stores, or as said above, a container store...or if you're cheap and crafty, just bend some heavy gauge wire into a loop!
try Ikea thats where i got mine
Yes, I have one, although I can't remember where it came from. It's basically a ring about 8" in diameter with a coat hook. The ring has two ends that you simply push the belt buckle through. It will hold a lot of belts.
I am not sure if they have one---but I bought one of those tie racks that spin and took one of those black binder clips (the really big ones) and clipped the tie rack to my clothes rod and hang my belts on it
http://www.hangers.com/prodtest/850851.shtml Here ya go mam... If you dont won't to buy one, you can just get a really nail and tap it in a stud in the wall and just use that :D
Yup! Just type in "belt hangers" in google, and you'll find tons of places that sell them online...
I found one from "Hanger City" that's on sale for $8.99 (dunno about the shipping tho... check out the first link) and the Container Store (second link)... (There're tons more... just didn't want to list them all)
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Spam Filtered (ID:3479677)
3 feet long is a big sword even made of plastic. You could try taking two thin pieces of soft wood as long as the blade + about an inch or so and as wide as the blade + an inch or so, and tracing the blade on them and then using a router to hollow out the blade shape on both sides. Then glue them together, make two belt loops out of a cheap leather belt and screw those to the backside, and paint the scabbard to suit. I did this for several of my swords that did not come with scabbards. (Except I was using treated oak and real leather.) Or, go to Wal-Mart and pick up a yard or so of thick vinyl material. This has the look and feel (somewhat) of leather. Trace the blade (+ an inch all around) onto the vinyl and make a front and rear section. Sew them together and sew on vinyl belt loops. Use the rest of the vinyl to fashion a belt, by folding a long rectangle three times longways and sewing it together. Fold over one end and sew on a steel ring about 2 inches in diameter (avail
able at Lowes or Home Depot). When putting on the belt, pass the free end thru the ring and then under the belt from the bottom so that the free end comes up pointing at your chin. Take it back down thru the loop thus formed and pull it tight on itself. If done correctly the free end will now be pointing straight down.
Hope this helps!
I had this problem for the last three years. I dressed as Frodo, the next year my son dressed as frodo and last year he dressed as a kknight. We had swords everytime and I could not find a belt or sheath. So I made one.
e-mail me if you want directions, fairly easy and not too expensive. Held up well, four years later we still use it.
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Spam Filtered (ID:3479677)
Is that forgivable?
follow your heart
(I like it)
It's forgivable but not advisable.
You clearly acknowledge that it's a sin. And why is it a sin? Not only because it mocks the murder of innocent children, but because it exploits the trauma and misery inflicted on women who choose to terminate unwanted pregnancies.
Shocking is not necessarily amusing and you'll regret actions like these one day. I'm not humorless, but as you mature you'll find yourself feeling more compassion toward people who have gone through the trauma of abortion. This is true whether you're pro-life or pro-choice: no one is cheering abortion on.
It all depends on you.
I've never understood the idea of using Halloween as a time to make a political statement.
You must repent of your sin BEFORE before God will forgive.
If you have to ask about it, then it's probably not a good idea. Honestly, I don't think it's a good idea. Even though you're probably a Christian and against abortion, I assume, and it is a funny idea, I think that if I saw someone wearing this, I would be completely disgusted. Especially for mothers. It's a creative thought, but too close to home for some people. I don't think it's a good idea.
Kinda poor taste, but y'all don't seem to suffer from a wealth of that anyway.
Btw, is "back-ally" a Freudian slip?
Better hide your Cold Mountin' DVD.
Jesus, not so much, because he would respect a woman's rights.
The biblical god will love that, if that egotistical monster exists.
Not only is that forgivable, its completely hilarious.
I think Jesus would get a kick out of that.
He was smart enough to understand the difference between irony and malice.
Man Thats kinda sick but I'm sure you will be forgiven as long as you don't actually perform any abortions
Let's say you bump into Him....
Of course he will forgive you, but how would you feel asking Him right there?
What if someone who lost a child sees you, will it hurt them?
man people have the weirdest halloween costume ideas this year.....
I wouldn't recommend doing that anyway... It's pretty tasteless.
Your mom won't take you trick-or-treating if you wear a costume like that.
Splatter some ketchup on yourself, too.
ahahahahahahaha
I think it sucks.
Why would you do that???!!!!!!
If you have to question than dont do it! but he only will if you ask him too and mean it.
I was spanked by spoons, belts, hanger, and hands, I turned out fine!
As anyone's parents hit you so hard, it made you pause, and you couldn't cry or sit down.-thats a true whoppin!!
Is it me, or are the kid's these day's are spoiled rotton? I wish more people will spank there kid's every once in awhile, so they can behave themselves!
Yeah the kind where you do the "silent" cry. Maybe the wind got knocked out of us I don't know. But contrary to popular belief its not like living in an abusive home. My parents loved me, still do, I had a happy childhood, and if I got spanked like that I deserved it. Only with belts though. I can't remember spoons or hangers. I don't get that I'm not gonna spank my kid stuff. If you don't want to use a belt fine, then use your hand. But all of that acting up and throwing tantrums is not the business. Keep the little monsters in line.
I honestly can say I was never spanked,or grabbed by the arm ect...I was adopted and i had 2 older sisters. I remember very vividly them getting the arm sqeeze,or hit on the bottom.
Now I would get grounded,but after a couple hours they would get sick of me so they told me to leave.
I was smacked on the back of the legs and turned out fine. I however will not do the same with my boy. I will smack him only on the hand and find that removing toys and TV is far more affective. My dad once smacked me so hard his handprint was left on my leg and I resented him for ages. He was also in tears when he saw my leg all bruised. I feel that hitting with belts etc to children is wrong. You cant go round belting adults so why do it to children? I find that a smack in the right situation is affective to children its finding the right balance.
Yes. Both parents. Anything which was handy. Last time was when I was 16, by my dad, with the belt.
It wasn't a good plan.
Only spanked - lightly on butt only - our child when it was a dangerous situation.
Spank was not in my father vocabulary, beaten was more like it and because of it, I went totally the opposite when I had my children and used other means of punishment such as, No TV , No playing after school, no birthday party if one was one, send them to their room, or no pocket money for the week.
Yes, I was spanked quite often as a child. Both parents spanked me but they had a different approach.
Dad spanked hard and fast, with his hand when I was little but a leather belt when I got older.
Mom did not spank as hard but believed in long (and I do mean long) spankings, usually followed by corner time.
Yes, I agree that spanking has fallen out of favor and it is unfortunate.
Yes, I was spanked when little...well, all the way up until I was about 13 or 14. My dad would spank us bare-butt with his belt (buckle and all) and his hand. We couldnt sit down after that for a long time, hes a big guy. My mom would spank us with the fly swatter, her shoe, hand, whatever she had. We would make her chase us and it didnt really hurt from her. But boy, did my dad leave a mark! Im sorry, but it never taught me anything except to hate my dad and that it was ok to hit. I have 2 boys and 1 on the way. I dont spank my children, nor do I need to. They respect me because I discipline them by talking too them and making them understand what they did was wrong and why. They are great kids and never talk back or do anything that would hurt me or others in any way. I think kids today DO get spoiled rotten, but only because their parents arent consistent and let them walk all over them. There are other ways to raise a well behaved and respected child other than hitting them.
yes i got spanked as a child..deserved them all. and it never turned me to be violent ive never just wanted to go out and punch someone because i got spanked as a child. I do not need therapy. It did not scar me emotionally. I see that arguement so much when people are against spanking. My dad would always pull me in his room..give me the "make you feel an inch tall" lecture then spank my butt. It was never done in anger. I respect my dad very much today. He is a very fair man. When my kids were younger they got spankings and if they done something today that needed one i would do it but their getting to the age now where their more worried about a social life and so now i can take away those priviledges :)
i do think alot of kids today are spoiled rotten. Im sure there are many reasons why this is but i know as for my children if i made them come sit down for 5 minutes they would not get the point.
yes I was spanked mostly by my father... we lived with him my sister and I ..our parents divorced when I was 2. when I was little his spankings where given as needed and I knew I would get one if I misbehavied and most times that kept me in order. he normally used just his hand and he'd be bent over his lap for the serious ones, others where just a quick swats on ourbums if we where out.
when I got a little older he became abusive... once hitting me in the ear. I couldn't hear for 2 days. once hitting me and pushing me into a table, I fell onto the floor and he kicked me in the back. I can't say that I wasn't misbehaving at these times but I do feel he handled it the wrong way.
as for my mom I only recieved two spankings from her, she's a women that when she talks you'd better listen (not all parents are like that) she said by the time I was 12 months all she had to do was look at me and I'd know I was doing wrong.
my first spanking from her came after I broke a valuable keep sake she had told me not to touch I was 3 I still remember that day and the other spanking was after I cussed out my step father ( i don't like him, but I do respect him now!) I was 16.
spankings are not harmful and yes I get sick of the brats that are running around that have never had one in their lives, my son is 4 , he has had a few in his life... i don't believe they should be a part of the everyday disapline but they do have their place!
children naturally want to please the parents and if you let them know you are proud of their actions they will contiue to do good. or that your not happy with their actions they will try to comply , but sometimes you have to show or tell them ways to act better , they simply do not know... spankings in that since should not substatute for teaching.
i agree it is pathetic how powerless we are to discipline our children. smacking is a thing of the past since the children act was updated in 2004 to say that abuse covers any act which causes marking or bruising of the skin - aint no way id smack my son because if it did mark, it doesnt bear thinking about.
so. we take away parents right to discipline, but a 10-16year old can terrorise older people and even inflict harm or kill with no sentence at all just a little tag on the ankle that can easily be tampered with and taken off. whats that compared to what the ASBO generation are doing to the world?
i would rather, if it was my choice (alarm bells of george orwells 1984 here), my son to have a smack for bad things while he is young than to grow up into another drugged up state like we see prancing around our streets today (all the "gangster boys" in their hoodies and gold bling, all the teenage slappers in their minies and panda eyes with a huge thong hanging out and so much orange they look like they're gonna peel, and all the other muppets ho hang with them cos its "cool".).
my son wont ever be smacked or disciplined like i was (hands only and flying objects from my stepdad). but if hes like these yobs when he turns 16, he'll have the biggest slap ever as a wake up call because i wont allow him to turn out like my brother (a drugged up smackhead thief who is so smashed on heroin he doesnt recognise me (im glad) and thats AFTER 7goes at rehab, 4blockers, living with 6different members of the family and stealing from them, and god knows how much other trouble - my house got raided when i was a kid cos of that pr*ck.
i wont let this happen to mine. no way.
Yes I was spanked, by aggravated adults out of frustration/anger, just as I see my friends do these days. There was no "talk" afterward, just as I do not see these days, although most here claim they do.
Kids are spoiled today, but it's NOT because they're not spanked. It's because they're not disciplined and/or punished AT ALL, IN ANY WAY. You cannot be a parent and a 'friend' at the same time - our generation has lost it's way.
My kid is not spanked, but is punished when needed, and is a very good kid. Don't judge all by the actions of some.
Yes I was spanked by both my mom and dad mostly my mother. She would chase me down and beat me lol. Not really beat me, but she did chase me down. They usually used their hand or whatever they could find at the moment. My step-grandmother used to make us pick switches and if we came back with a really small one we got spanked twice as hard. I will spank my child, but I will not degrade her and make her pull her pants down or pick switches. I will explain to her what she is doing wrong, and if after that she continues wrong doing, I will spank her and explain again why she got a spanking.
I totally disagree when people say that it is wrong to spank your children.
A smack on the hand or on the bottom never hurt anyone.
My mum always had a RED plastic spoon & that is what we got smacked with -
& we still have it to this day & yes I will spank my child with it when he does something naughty.
The main thing I remember getting smacked for was lighting the carpet in our loungeroom on fire & also getting caught playing with matches..
I learnt my lesson.
Alot of kids are very spoiled these days, they are rude & ignorant.
There is no where near as much disapline around these days that there was when I was a kid - Born in 1987.
.Yes, nothing too full on, but i think nowadays its frowned upon by the do-gooders. It didnt do us any harm and we are better adjusted than the younger generation of today. eg kids at school in Australia cant recieve an F or fail in school because it might afect their self esteem (or some BS like that).
I was spanked with hands, belts, and spoons and I turned out fine. I think this whole time out thing, and just letting the kids express themselves is spoiling our kids and destroying our land. Kids don't know how to behave anymore, and this whole hippie BS needs to go back where it came from. Let parents discipline thier kids. Even though I must say there is a fine line between discipline and abuse and some parents don't know where to stop.
I got spanked just by the hand no objects were required i was never that bad;-) i turned out well and was always well behaved as a child , i dont know if the two are related or if a parent willing to spank is already better at disciplining a child which is necessary and not done enough these days
my mam did slap me across the face once because she couldnt reach my ****, we were both really shocked and she apologised , so i know she didnt like doing it but sometimes its necessary
Yes,by my father's hand over his knee.I turned out fine also.The parents who don't have to do this are lucky or have a nanny.If more kids today were disciplined like this there would be less trouble.
Severally, and that gave me the maternal love I still enjoy from my loving mum up till now.I encourage mothers to give constuctive gentle spanking on their children.
Yes I was, very much (and well deserving). With a belt, hairbrush, spoon, hand, and there are probably more.
I agree with you 100% people should spank their kids so they don't act like bratts.
I was spanked when I was little and I am a better person for it.
I use to have to go out and cut my own switch from the tree (that was the worst part) or I would get it with the belt or medal handle of the fly swatter!
I have a 4 month old and will do the same if she needs it.
I think your way of discipline is pretty good. People just gotta loosen up, it isn't abuse unless it leaves marks or the child is risking injury. A few whacks with the belt or a clothes hanger is no big deal. Some kids need a nice hard spanking once in a while. I have a very good example of what i mean. One of my best friends was skipping school in sixth and seventh grade and going to the mall and stuff during skool time. When his dad found out he took the belt and beat him so hard that he could barely not sit down after. Was his father trying to abuse him? NO! He was just showing him that what he did was wrong and though i thought that beating was a bit too severe, i think his dad did a good thing to get him back on track. We are now in eleventh grade and he is a straight B+ student and on the honor roll. Does he hate his dad? No, in fact, he said that was the best thing his dad ever did for him and it's because of that beating that he is doing so good in life today. So the point of my story is that a spanking is very good once in a while IF NEEDED. Now, back to your problem. I think your way of discipline is good and the only reason your daughter is saying she hates you is because she is trying to make you feel bad for disciplining her. She'll get over it in a day or two but if she has been misbehaving so much more lately then there might be something wrong so i would suggest talking to her. Good luck! Oh, and i'm sure you are probably not a bad mommy.
I think you just needed a pat on the back. This answer just told you what you wanted to hear. Don't feel bad, all moms need that once in a while http://answers.yahoo.com/question/accuse_write?qid=20060731131040AAn5BKP&kid=Es0mUjPqWGYTH2Z559hUHqflfbJMoIyyzcCcWfVh8km7Jhd4eQQw&s=comm&date=2006-08-07+07%3A54%3A27&.crumb=
You're joking right? Having a good laugh at our expense. What, did you just watch Mommie Dearest?
its probably not a good idea to hit her with a hanger, or other objects. a tap on the behind with your hand is not too bad. have you tried taking things away from her that she really likes? sometimes that works. discipline is a fine line sometimes, i have three children and different things work on each one. BTW, when said hanger, all I could think of was Mommy Dearest..ugh!!
also, i don't think that he hates you. she is making you feel guilty for disciplining her.
I understand your plight!
In today's world, some will argue with you that hitting with anything is abuse (these usually have no children or let theirs run all over!).
I think if used properly, spanking can help! But don't use things- get rid of the belt, hanger, etc. Just pop her on her butt with your hand- & not too many times- that usually let's them know you are not joking!
She's gonna say things to get to you- that's what they do. You gotta be strong & set the boundaries, then stick to them regardless of the li'l person says.
Let her know you are not trying to be mean, but if you didn't let her know "when", then you WOULD be a bad mommy.
Also don't do too much explaining- she's kinda young to understand all of the details. Just reassure her that you love her, but mean what you say.
Good luck
The only problem I see is using an object to spank her with instead of your hand.
you got to be kidding
hitting with an object is not good
I think it's great to instill discipline!
However, I don't think it's ever appropriate for an adult to hit a child with anything. Just put her back in time out, or take away a privilege. Be consistant, and use love not anger.(easier said)
All kids hate you at the time of discipline, but they need to understand your values, rules and consequences.
Seek professional help if you have trouble coming up with logical consequences - but please don't hurt your child.
You shouldn't use anything to hit her at all, but spanking is necessary sometimes. Explain to her that you have to show her right from wrong... I always warned my daughter before she'd get a spanking, and like you, it never got to that very often. I would NOT suggest hitting her with anything, though... You could seriously injure her!
Everything sounds fine except the use of an object for spanking. I know my parents often threatened to spank me with a spoon and I know my husband got the belt so I know where your coming from, but the best bet is to use your hand for a spank that doesn't really hurt. Make sure if you spank then it is not out of anger. Everyone has different opinions about whether spanking is ok or not. I think it honestly is up to the parents. As for your daughter hating you, 6 year olds often have a difficult time understanding consequences. She does not connect her behavior always with the punishments. I like to use positive reinforcers and make sure there are many priviledges that she may gain or lose depending on behavior. Put up a daily behavior chart for her, she can put a sticker on each day (or hour if the day needs to be broken up.) After a week of all stickers, treat her to a special day at the ice cream shop, let her pick something out of the dollar bin at Target, etc. Positive reinforcement is a lot of work on the parent side, but it really does change the behavior a lot more then negative reinforcements.
i think that's a pretty good way. it gives your daughter the choice of how she's going to act through out the day and it's up to her how she acts. i don't know about the hanger....i would rather that than a piece of wood made into a paddle (that's what my stepkids get at their mom's house.)
she is telling you that because she thinks that if she does it will hurt your feeling so bad that you won't do it and she might be able to get away with more. be strong, and be consistant with the discipline. as long as you explain to her why it is that she's getting in trouble, then i don't see a problem with it.
as far as being a "bad mommy".....i'm a mother of 2 of my own and 5 stepkids. i don't think anyone KNOWS exactly how to be a mom or a dad, it's something that we have to learn everyday so there is no kid that can tell you whether or not you're a good mommy or a bad mommy. she is most likely hearing things from her friends, and telling them what you do to her as a punishment, and the friends are the ones says you're bad. don't forget that kids exaggerate things they say alot when they're talking to their friends....especially if the others around them "help" tell the stories.
your sick,a belt on a 6 year old,a hanger your rotten,i hope you get reported,and if she does it obviously its not working you idiot,hitting your child does nothing but teach them to solve problems with violence,if everytime you made someone mad they punched you in the face is that ok,no,there should be no second or third time,put her in her room and take everything away,i mean everything,boredom is a serious discipline for 6 year olds they are so active,it drives them nuts,and yes everytime you hit it makes her hate you that much more,someday shell have to take care of you when your old,and should she smack you with a belt when your 80 and annoying,seriously you should get anger management
Call your local child protective service and ask them.
THAT IS WRONG!!! NEVER HIT YOUR CHILD IT IS SO WRONG! WHEN MY CHILDREN ARE NAUGHTY (WICH BY THE WAY IS NOT VERY OFTEN) THEN YEAH I USE THE TIME-OUT THING BUT I WOULD NEVER EVER HIT A CHILD,HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO YOUR OWN DAUGHTER, NO MATTER WHAT SHE HAS DONE, YOU SHOULD NEVER HIT HER. DO YOU LOVE YOUR CHILD? IM NOT SURPRISED SHE SAYS ALL THESE NASTY THINGS TO YOU, YOU ARE BULLYING YOUR OWN CHILD! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF YOU DID SOMETHING SOMEONE DIDNT LIKE (AND IF THEY WERE BIGGER THEN YOU) AND THEY SAID TO YOU CHOOSE HOW YOU WANT TO BE SPANKED! A COAT HANGER OR A BELT, HOW THE HELL WOULD YOU FEEL? WOULD YOU LIKE IT? NO I DONT THINK YOU WOULD! PLEASE GO GET SOME HELP BEFORE YOU DO SOMETHING SERIOSLY HARSH TO YOUR CHILD
Your child is going to hate you if you continue to hit her with objects. There is no need for violence when it comes to discipline. Go to the public library or book store and look up "assertive discipline." Good luck to you and stop hitting your child unless you want to wind up in jail with a new girlfriend.
BE CONSISTENT! Don't use an object to spank her, use your hand, Tell her what she did wrong, make sure she knows why you are punishing her, also, be sure she knows you love her. Be sure that when she is in trouble she doesn't get a choice in decisions for a certain period of time, for example...
Say she lies about something.
Tell her that you don't like lying, spank her and then, if she usually gets to chose which {something} you {make, buy ect.}, take that privilege away. If that doesn't work then put her in timeout for a while, (20, 30 minutes) If that still doesn't work, spank her again and then ground her from (t.v, telephone, computer ect.) for an appropriate amount of time. Good-Luck.
One thing you were not clear on was, is she being punished for the same thing repeatedly, or is she getting progressively harsher punishments for different offenses?
If it's a different thing every time, then NO, I do NOT agree with you.
Each offense should carry it's own punishment, and those should be commiserate with how bad the offense itself is (dumping hot water all over the floor is REALLY bad, while sticking her finger in the fish tank is really a nothing offense).
I was ok with everything up till you got to the belt or coat hanger. Are you trying to become the next Mommy Dearest or something??? Oh, my goodness. If you MUST use something other than your hand to hit with, then may I recommend a plastic fly swatter??? Anything that has the potential to leave a bruise is BAD.
And why should you get to the point of hitting? All that teaches is that if you can't get what you want, enforce your way of thinking with violence. Sit her butt in time out all day long if need be! You're still bigger than her - there's no need to get to the point of physical punishment.
May I suggest that you both go get some family counseling? She IS 6, so she should be able understand not to do something bad over and over, and you can be given tools to help you learn to channel your punishment more effectively.
You should not have warnings and up to swats that's for adults at school up to a paddling. Your not suppose to let her choose you decide and the best item to use is a belt not one with shiny diamonds or fancy thing just a regular one otherwise that can hurt their skin and leave marks. Dont disipline her with hangers that doesn't disipline her enough. Everytime she swears or lies etc. You should disipline her with a belt. She only says your a bad mommy is because she's mad about getting punished she doesn't hate you either she's just mad just let her be by herself in a room to blow off steam then let her out and go about your buisness and during whooping or after talk to her and tell her why you beat her so she knows the difference between Good and Bad. Also tell her you still love her you just dont want her to be bad when she grows up just make sure she knows you love her so she wont end up thiking you hate her.
Never hit your children! Kids are very smart these days, they know what happens to parents that abuse their children, and they will report you. I feel like I've told so many poeple this but instead of disapline, reward and praise good behavior, especially at six years old that's all a child wants it to be approved by their parents. Good luck, let her know you love her.
I dont agree on the clothes hanger. The hand I do as long as you dont beat them or leave marks!!!!!!!!! The belt I dont use but it does scare my 3 year old. His daddy started saying do you want me to get the belt and he straightens up and never been whooped or hit by it. So I believe you can discipline a child without using objects actually better. My oldest son was and still is a wonderful child never got in trouble have had to call him down but he listens. My middle child is the hardest to deal with but hes getting better. Bottom line dont use objects to punish your child and change your rule a lil warning, timeout then bed or take a favorite toy away and remember to explain to your child you are not being mean to her you are being a parent you want whats best for her you want her to listen and be a good lil girl
I'm not against spanking..but it has to be done with an open hand. Any parent that uses a belt or a hanger has something seriously wrong with them.
YOU hit your child with a hanger? can we say ABUSE! A smack on the butt is one thing but using objects to punish your child? Are you insane????
take away something that she loves to play with. you said shes 6 right take it away for six days. but i wouldnt spank her with a hanger. well it sounds to me that she is putting you on a guilt trip.
but really i wouldnt with a hanger or a belt. turn the tables how would you feel if someone hit you like that.
explain to her why her behavior is not acceptable when she does something you don't like and tell her because she was bad you have to punish her.
you can take away something she likes to do or play with for however long you think the offense is worth punishing.
be firm,stick to your punishments,just don't make them too long for either you or her.
you don't need to hit her with anything.
sometimes a stern look is all it takes for the child to know she has done something wrong.
What you are doing is perfectly fine. Clothes hanger is a little awkward, I've never heard of that, but as long as your just using it as a flat end and not like jabbing (puncture) I don't see what's wrong; I would take a hanger over a belt.
I think that the "I hate mommy" is just a stage. My young sister has always been like that from the time she could talk, but once she's done being upset she would always realize she was wrong and come back and apologize to my parents.
I would highly suggest not to back off, she will get the wrong idea.
Most importantly, make sure she knows exactly why she's being punished! Make sure you let her know that you're doing it because you love her and (if your a Christain) you can use Bible verses to explain (He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him - Proverbs 13:24).
I am sure many people will disagree with me and say that only words should be used and you should stop spanking. Listen to me: if it were me and my only punishment was words and at the worst, time-outs (grounding doesn't work at that age), it would not stop me from wrongdoing.
So I'll say again, as long as you're spanking and not beating, you sound right on track; don't let down, don't let her melt you're heart: she'll get over it.
you have informed her of the consequences of her actions which is a good start. at 6 years old you may want to change the third time to taking away a privilege or a toy for the remainder of the day.
spanking is ok. don't give her a choice in what you will use - that puts her in control. the best thing is to use your hand on her bottom, that way you are in control of the intensity and the point of contact. also it is important that you don't spank out of anger. if she has pushed it to the point of spanking - tell her to go to her room - give yourself a few minutes to go over the situation - then go to her and tell her why she is going to get a spanking now - then once you have spanked her - let her know that you don't like to spank her and you don't like her behavior - but you love her and want her to learn right from wrong.
your daughter is testing your limits and needs to know that you will stand firm in your decisions - if you back down now - you will have a bigger battle. you are not a bad mommy - children need discipline - look at society today - everyone cried out don't spank your kids and now we have a world full of undisciplined adults.
hope this helps - eventually the spankings will get less frequent and the talking with her about her actions will be the norm.
Do you want an answer to this question or is this and effort at justifying your sadist parenting techniques. The fact you defend using a hanger on your child is a clear sign you've got a skewed idea of abuse. The difference between discipline and abuse is really quite simple, what's the point. I run to build my cardiovascular strength and because I like running but there are days when I don't feel like it. This is what discipline is about, I make myself get up because I have a goal. As a parent you are responsible to have a goal when applying discipline, a point in the best interest of the child. If you steal you go to prison stealing isn't good, don't steal. Lying is offensive and for that reason I don't want to be lied to. If the point is to shame, humiliate and or beat into submission your child you're doing a grand job of it. The fact you expect her to choose the "whip of her choice" indicates you've blurred the role of parent and child. As an adult you're the one responsible to control your temper and to determine what's approiate discipline for the offense. You by these methods have raised your daughter's threshold for pain and her perception of fear well beyond what a six year old should experience. Your daughter at six years old is taking door number three to let you know it doesn't hurt anymore. What are you gonna do when she's ten and can't reason logically reason apart from punishment ? What will you do when you can't control her without your actually physical presence ? You've painted yourself in a corner with this method and your daughter at six is taking door number three as a direct challenge to you. If you don't reverse this trend and seek alternative methods you'll lose your daughter, perhaps that's your goal. I'm afraid to even ask how long you've been practicing this method, how old was your daughter was when she first chose the hanger ? If it hurts less she must choose it alot ? If she chooses your hand do you hit with more force ? Any lesson you've set out to teach your daughter with that method of discipline is lost by it's application. I suggest if you really want and answer to this question ask her kindergarten teacher. Mention this "special way of disciplining" at your church and see what they say. You are teaching your daughter all the wrong things and six years old she's pushing back and no your method is not good. Your method is for parents to lazy to do the work of training through discipline and not force. Congratulations you are able to beat a six year into submission through a ritualistic and sadistic process that you call discipline. Your method teaches three things he who is strongest wins, fear mommy and hate mommy. Why would a time out work for a child who's threshold for pain has been upgraded to a hanger ? Why should it ? If you really wanna know if your "special way of discipline" is good instead of posting the question on Yahoo Answers anonymously call a day care center ? They way you have chosen to "discipline" your child says more about you then it does about her. It says every infraction is worthy of the same response door one, door two or door three. So she will learn that lying is the same as spilling milk or not eating her carrots. It says that your so committed to this that you force your daughter to chose the instrument of her punishment and by that you feel justified. She is six, your in theory an adult. The fact she says "it hurts less" doesn't make it any less unacceptable in practice, she's a child. Were you ever a child ? If this practice is good then your daughter could show her friends mothers the welt marks a hanger leaves right ? If it's a good method why post this question here where no one knows you ? It's not only a poor method of discipline it's abuse in all fifty states. There are plenty of books out there on discipline, pick one read it and do the work you are the parent. If you were audited for abuse of a child you'd be faulted. What baffles me is how a parent can spank a six year old with a hanger and I have two girls both six. What do you get out of this and I hope you don't say the satisfaction of a job will done. How in God's name do you look yourself in the eyes after you do that and call it discipline ? That thing that motivates you to justify this and forces you to have your daughter chose her "whip of choice" is called guilt. It's called shame and in this case it's healthy listen to it. Will you approve this method if other people discipline your child that way ? What is the "we" in your special way ? The adult is the teacher the child is student. The adult parents the child is a child there is no "we" in the act of spanking. That's why it's not the most effective method of discipline. If you can't accept the consequences of spanking then it's not for you find some other method.
well i dont agree with number 3. make that number 4. for number 3 u should take away maybe snacks , tv, or something she uses often good luk
do whatever you feel comfortable with but I would not make it public that you use things other than your hand
First Rule of thumb with spanking, it called spanking for a reason, it is done with your hand. I have never used anything but my hand when I have spanked my 6 yr old daughter. And those that say spanking with a hanger/belt or any other obnject is child abuse, in most states it is. No matter how you discipline your child, she is going to hate you. All parents have heard this and will contiune to hear it until they move out on their own. My daughter doesn't get 3 times before she gets a spanking. The punishment fits the incident. My daughter knows that if she does a certain thing, she will either stand in the corner or get a spanking. There is a cause and effect for each action.
A belt? A clothes hanger?
You should be reported to child services!
Ask her why you are a bad mommy? Surprise her with gifts, and make her your friend.
I think these people should be beaten to death with belts and hangers themselves.
I really don't get how can woman be with a man who abuses her child?????!!!!!!!!!!! I would kick his ***, it is unbelievable such things are still happening. Those two should be sterilize at first place, so they could never have another child to abuse.
that is the most terrible thing ive heard in my life these people deserve to be totured them selfs, its even worst watching your child get this abuse then achually doing it! these people should be shot down becouse that is murder!!!!!!!!!! heartless *********
i agree with you. that is awful. how can you ever hurt your child?
Anyone who would hurt a child doesn't deserve to have children.
So sad!! I can't help but think about what must have been going through that poor child's mind. He wasn't even two. Those two should be beaten to death for what they put him through.
I would love to stand in front of these people and tell them, "Karma's real, b*tches!" They'll get what's coming to them, trust me.
When ever I read a story like this I cry. How could anyone be so horrible and cruel especial to some one as young as that boy? It really makes me sick.
Death penalty people! Hope they get it! What they did is inexcusable.
Stories like that disgust me...people like that disgust me, but what disgusts me even more is that this happens every single day. Worse than this happens every single day. It's awful.
That is another sad sad story I can not amagine beating a child How can a mother sit there and let that happen to her baby?They both ought to get the same treatment they gave that child.that ought to be the law
Sickening.
They should be imprisoned forever, possibly with frontal lobotomies? Receiving no dignity or compassion till the day they die.
that is terrible. lock them up and throw away the key!
unfortunatly it happens too often,being a mom of three i don't understand how someone can hurt a child.i hope they get what they deserve,and the family members should also be punished,if they knew of the abuse....
agreed
Well I think that before the autopsy is done the boyfriend should be charged with first degree murder, and 2 counts of child abuse and neglect. The mother after she is shot, should be charged with 1st degree murder for allowing this to happen, and 3 counts of child abuse and neglect, and then shot again. Those poor children where beat by moms man toy, and the one person that they probably trusted the most (mom) did nothing to protect them. Those poor babies then lost their baby brother due to these monsters, whom ever has the kids now needs to get those kids in therapy asap because they will need lots of it to grow up happy and healthy. Shoot all adults that treat their kids like this, shoot them and then while they are suffering like they made their kids suffer castrate them so that if they survive they can't breed any longer. It breaks my heart to hear stories like that.
WOW! I get so mad when I hear about stories like this. I think these people need to be thrown in jail and be beaten to death too. Poor kid, he was so little.
Attach the feathers to either a piece of starchy, stiff cloth (to be pinned to pants) or to a piece of cardboard which can be glued, taped, tucked, or I guess even pinned to pants or a belt.
Maybe use styrofoam (from the craft store, or left over packing material) rather than the heavier upholstery foam. Not terribly durable, but maybe it doesn't need to last long?
"The Janith" is correct... I used to work with the Warner Brother's Costume Characters.
If this is a non-professional costume (guessing from the coat-hanger), the BEST way is to make the tail SEPARATE: cut a slit in the back of the costume and feed the tail thru it.
The tail should be attached to a belt worn under the costume, made of fabric or leather. There should be a fairly big attachment point... 9"x9" attached to the belt, padded to protect your tush. I've seen some where the wire from the tail is curved into a 6" circle, then sewn to leather... OR screwed with wire-clamps to 1/4" thick plywood. THIS provides a VERY stable and secure TAIL (kids and others LOVE to play with the tail). This also allows you to replace a tail with little effort.
JUST FYI... the tail ALWAYS moves BEST if it's actually attached at a point about 2-3 " BELOW the tush... it REALLY wiggles & sways that way.
Make a slit in the costume for the tail to go through, and then attach the tail to a harness or a belt that you'd wear under the costume. Email me for details if you need them.
If every (or most) pair of pants has a belt with it, that's probably too many belts. Get rid of the ones that are low quality, ugly, or that she never wears. Then, buy a belt hanger or use pants hanger (with the clips. You can buy additional clips and clip them right on.)
i use a coat hanger, the kind that have 2 rows of 5 hooks, and you hang it on the wall, it carries alot of belts and it looks like your selecting belts just like you do at a clothing store.
They actually make belt hangs thats what my dad uses to organize his belts anyways!!
I also use a couple of hangers and just make sure that the belts are not overlapping and fasten them to the bottom portion of the hanger only. Before that I had a drawer but I wanted easier access to them.
roll them up and put them in drawers.
I believe it is illegal to strike your child with any "object" and in any way that leaves a mark.
I'm sorry that you were treated this way. I hope that you realize that it was wrong and in no way your fault. I recommend talking with a professional counselor about what your mother did to you - to help you heal from the pain she caused and to ensure that you don't make any of the same mistakes with your future children. Also, dealing with this issue now will help you with you relationships - abused children often marry abusers as adults!!
in my state (ny) you may spank your child, not hitting them with any objects, or hitting them in the head. You may not use derogatory, insulting, or demeaning words against them. Children should not be abused, they are just little people. You parents are ignorant and it's nice they conveniently "forgot" how they abused you. Tell them where to go and how to get there. Make her remember, force her to remember, Let your mom feel the guilt.
now i believe in spanking every now and then but freakin belts and wooden spoons D: dats just wrong i say sue your mum for neglect abuse and mental distress
of course mum denies it :P she doesnt want anyone to know and shell probably act all sweet in court "why would i beat my own flesh and blood?" -_- if u have any witnesses at all bring them with you doesnt matter if its a sibling, maybe a friend who heard u say dont hit me! or something D:
No, they are NOT allowed to abuse children any more than natural parents are allowed to. Had your mother been reported, she would have faced abuse charges the same as any other parent. Being an adoptive parent or foster parent does not give you a license to abuse a child PERIOD.
That obviously is not right for her just to hit you with whatever she could find, this would not have been acceptable to SS... At least I wouldn't think so...
well im shore that you ain't that silly no one i allowed to do tat o there child now are they
well i don't know legally but the way i feel as a mom i think spanking should only be as a last resort, i think a lot of parents spank out of losing there tempers, me i have 3 kids,
and its either a swat on the hand, because they was trying to put something in a plug in, or a swat on the butt, with my hand nothing like that, and i spanked my son a total of 3 times and he is 9 now.he was around 5 and i did it because he had a habit of pushing a kitchen chair over to the sink and trying to get the knifes off the shelf, and i would rather spank him and he KNOW that's a no no instead of him falling on one,
but other than that its time out or stand in the corner,
Whatever my mom or dad had in their hands. Belts, wooden spoons, flyswatter, or just their hand.
A Big Paddle with holes in hit.
(At school) I was in Lutheran elementary school. In pre and kindergarten.
wooden spoon
wooden spoon... then it was discovered that plastic hurt more... but i had a leather *** anyway lol
i was whipped with a belt and then a cutting board with holes drilled into it so he could see the welts he left (twisted huh)
I was spanked with a open hand
2-ply AngelSoft.
Just hands on uncovered behinds. WOW it sure did the trick
A belt and a wooden spoon.
a wooden stick
my parents arent freaks, so nothing.
Balmex
A SLIPPER
My parents never hit us.
My mom would slap my head, both of my cheeks, and pull my hair. My dad would make me kneel against a wall for over an hour. My brother and sister would threaten me.
nothing as far as I remeber but if I ever got a smack it would have been with an open hand...bruises the ego not the body
A willow switch.
The worst spanking I ever got was when my father used his belt. He made me drop my pants, bend over and bam! I got it up and down my backside. The next day I had bruises all over my back & behind. They used to say "You won't be able to sit for days after I'm done with you." Well, I could'nt sit w/o being in pain. I also could lay on my back or lean against anthing.... I knew my father loved me. But! He spanked me while angry, he lost control, and I paid the price. Did I learn anything? Yes---don't piss my dad off. Oh, btw.... my stepfather used to skip the belt and he'd use his fists.
ohh you mean in the dark ages when i was born?? i was hard headed i got my share of sore backsides with whatever was available ping pong paddles, leather straps .belts the back of the hand was a good method of correction too or how about getting your ears boxed yep u get wisdom in different ways then hehehe!!
i got spanked
After a number of broken yardsticks and wooden spoons, my caretakers found that a leather strap (from the barn) got my attention.
A phone cord, a paddle, a wodden spoon, their hands, anything they could grab really
a wooden spoon and my favorite.... my parents bare hand
nothing. i sometimes got spanked though.
all of the above and a broom and a phone cord and a chicken bone
My dad's hands.
Switches from branches (that I often had to "pick out" myself), once with an electrical cord for sucking my thumb, belts were the usual and sometimes my dad thumped me hard on the head with his fingers.
a tree switch..ouch
i was abused pretty bad by my step-dad...he used paddles and broken pieces of 2x4's
belt, hand, fan belt (once), switch (that's a stick broken off a nearby bush, sort of a southern term)
umm i wore pants?
I'm not against spanking completely, but against it enough to use it only as a last resort punishment. When my oldest was 2 or so we decided to use time-outs for when they're younger and loss of privileges when they're older (computer/TV time, iPod, friends over, etc). It works well and we've never had to use the last resort, surprisingly!
Spanking is okay if it's in the right context. It teaches self discipline because if the kid doesn't want to get smacked they'll teach themselves not to do the things they get spanked for.
I remember one time I was drawing on my dads work desk and he caught me, spanked me till I was red and guess what I never drew on the desk again.
People who say it's abuse and it's awful and that people should be put in jail for spanking their kids are nuts. The only reason it's seen as abuse now is because delinquent children who hate not getting what they want can get away with saying it is. If a child took his parents to court say, 50 years ago, the judge would probably rule that he deserved it for doing the wrong thing. Where as now, a teary eyed little kid with a 'princess' shirt on would get emancipated and paid for her story.
Not to say there aren't parents out there who overdo it. A belt sounds a little harsh, but I had wooden spoons and hands and that's about it whipped over my backside, and I don't see it as abuse at all.
Hitting is a great way to teach a child not to hit, isn't it? And hitting is a great way to teach children that big people and grown ups shouldn't hit smaller people?
We don't spank now and we won't spank. If you want your child not to throw food, make the punishment relevant to the behavior you want to change-your child throws food, your child cleans up the food. Your child throws food, your child has to be fed like a baby (older children object strongly to these kinds of things.) If you don't want your child to draw on the walls make him or her clean up when drawing on the walls happen, and take away the crayons for a while until the rules can be followed.
The old adage "let the punishment fit the crime" is good one to remember here.
I come from a very strict family where we were spanked. Hands, belts, wooden paddle.
I am very old school.
I spanked my children when they were young up to a certain age then I stopped. They have grown up to be fine young citizens.
But of course, this is just me and my opinion.
As far as not talking to your mom? I think you are wrong. Regardless if she spanked you or not, she is your mother. You are grown up now and you must realize that your mother gave you life and even though you didn't really accept her spanking you, you can't hold a grudge. Not good. Get over it.
It's horrible. My friend is nearly 16, and is abused by her mom. Most days she doesn't come to school because of it, but she's too afraid to say anything. I told my friend, and when I was with her, he came up saying, "hey, I heard your mom whooped your ***.." I felt horrible for ever telling him. I think it's wrong, and scaring your kids won't make them any better of a person. My mom never hit me, and I'm happy about that. Most people who are abused end up abusing others, being violent, and even abusing their own children. An occasion pat on the bottom for an infact is fine, but I firmly believe you should never punish a child while feeling any anger.. It will most likely not turn out as planned. I'm sorry you were abused as a child, hopefully you won't carry on that trait. Good luck. x.
I beleive in spanking to an extent.. I have used it when my girls have endangered themselves or someone else, been very disrespectful, and when they tell a big lie. I do not use an implement, just my hand. It has worked for us, but I do think it is not the answer with all children.
I use to get spankings with the belt, and I do not think it was abuse, but I have never felt the need to use an implement
I believe in spanking children but not with items such as a clothes hanger. There is nothing wrong with showing your child that they aren't supposed to do something but "beating" them is something else. So I would make sure that you know when to stop. I don't think that you should discipline your kids when you are angry because that only makes things worse. Hope this helps!
id say tie a coat hanger to a belt and let your mom know how it feels ,,,why not she obviosly taught nothing wrong of it ,,,,unbelievable would nt do it to an animal ,,,my dad gave me the belt when i was a kid, never hard but it hurt emotionally that he felt i deserved it ,,,,,i did nt i was a good kid ,,,but my anger and lack of confidence made me grow up to make wrong choices ,,,and a coat hanger thats like planned out ,,,strange ,,
we believe in spanking but that sounds a little harsh. if we do spank our children we explain why they are getting spanked and then discuss what they did wrong afterward and have them say sorry. we tell them we forgive them and we dont bring it up again or try to make them feel bad about it. i was spanked as a child but i dont have any horrible memories about it :0( sorry that happened to you!
well it depends. I only spank when my son had endangered himself or someone else. Sometimes I spank when my son is disrespectful (depending on the context) I do it with an open had and on the butt. I usually give him about 4 swats.
I think spanking should never be done when you are angry.
I dont think spanking is the answer not even with the bare hand. And my 4 yr old has certainly tested me on that theory but I have never spanked him and never will. There are other methods than corporal punishments.
Using a belt or hanger is not a spanking that is abuse. There is no need to do that to any child, there are other ways to discipline.
What youre mom did was abuse and nothing ever can justify that ..
I can see why you would not spank youre children ..
to be honest im not sure i have mixed feelings and mixed views about it .
I don't believe in spanking period..
I'm sure there's better ways to disapplin a child..like time our..
I dont have any kids but if I did I sure as hell wouldn't spank them.
I feel that since you are so much bigger than the child you should handle your actions better. Different punishments do exist:)
i think spanking them with a belt or a clothes hanger is pretty extreme.
we got spanked but only when we were being really bad (so not every day)
my mom spanked me. but never my dad.
i think its okay to give them a little slap on the butt.. but not anything that they'll feel the next day.
A belt or a clothes hanger? I don't believe in that at all.
Your mom was abusing you. And I don't believe in it, either.
u should talk to ur mom. she was doing what was best 4 u.
hahaha. when i was 16, one of my guy firends accidently punched me in the face and i was gushing blood and had a fat lip for a week. If she understands it was an accident and you've appoligized, the best thing to do is just let it go cuz all it's gonna do is eat you up inside. everyone makes mistakes.
stop getting on her nerves wit saying i sorry just remeber and when u see something that she likes get it or if she tired give a message just do nice things and stop saying i sorry that is annoying and if you get her somthing don't say this is me saying i sorry just do it and don't say nothing bout the accident
buy her a drank
Buy for her a gift what she likes best....to feel her better.
You apologized, she'll be fine, let it go. It wasn't a serious injury and doesn't require you grovelling or going out of your way to make amends...accidents happen.
Do something nice for her in the near future, if it would make you feel better...but the constant apologizing is probably really getting on her nerves by now (it would mine).
If you keep going on about it then she might think that it was more than an accident, otherwise you had already apologized and showed that you felt sorry, what more could she want?
It was an accident right? If you didn't do it on purpose, and she wasn't tragically hurt, your sincere apology is enough
give her some roses and a apology card. it was an accident you shouldnthave to do that but it wouldnt hurt.
I think you've done enough. If you want you can buy her a box of cute band-aids...it might make her laugh.
Wow. What a situatioN! Well i suggest you apologize and tell her it was a mistake. What else could she possibly want from you?
Nothing more than you have done. It was an accident and you have apologized not to mention she knows it was an accident. Of course she cried a little, blows to the nose hurt! Now you can learn from this, in the future when you are playing around be careful and think about if what you are doing could harm someone.
kiss it....=]
ice cream!
makes everything better
Buy her bandaids - J.K.
Send her flowers - they have set ups that say "sorry"
Be sure to include a little stuffed animal of some sort :)
Accidents happen - a friend of mine got shot in the eye with an elastic by one of my ex boyfriends - it is all fun and games till some one gets hurt. We laugh hysterically about it now -
give her something..like a sorry gift
theres nothing you can do other than apologize to her wich youve already done ...it was an accident right?..she should realize that...if shes mad at you for an accident in wich youve already apologized for then thats her problem...you cant do anything about that...but im guessing shes prob not mad at you for it...and she prob wouldnt want you to beat yourself up over it either
Buy her a gift.
1. Make sure she knows you are sorry - apologise again when you are alone.
2. If you feel she still doesn't know how sorry you are, buy her a present or a special card that show how much she means to you. Present doesn't have to be expensive! It could be a day out or a picnic or something you made (something more sentimental than materialistic)
Hope that helps!
xx
i roll mine up and keep them in my hanging shoe rack
i hang them on a hanger. you can also hang them on those racks wear you hang jackets, dresses, and other clothes that you don't want to get wrinkled.
put the buckly part , the long thing your stick int the belt hole put that on the hanger and it will fit thats were i put mine an i dont have a problem with it at all.
of put up a nail in the wall and hang them from the belt buckle it self it it will never fall
answer mine
well i just put mine on a hook but if you have a belt buckle i just ut it on the dresser flat
I hang mine on these hooks I have on the back of my door, you can buy them for like $5 from Walmart (:
and i try to hang them somewhere
but thier always fallin off
is there any kind of belt hanger
and where can you find them thanks
Yes there is. I purchased one at Target for $3.99 regular price about 2 weeks ago. Its in the area with irons, clothes hangers, etc. I couldn't find it online.
Go to the Container Store.
Don't think so, but I use a key rack for one. It's very convenient to hang in the inside door to your closet.
You can use a tie rack and mount it inside the closet---Wal Mart has a large selection of this sort of thing, check it out.
Yes there is. I got one for christmas. It is basically the top of a hanger and instead of branching out like a hanger does it has a series of hooks that you can hang other things, like belts on. Check the link below
tie em to your waist and then twist to and fro. Repeat if necessary then wash vigorously with vodka until wet.
yeah, there are different hangers for belts...some round, some round with a hanger shape on the top, some more like hooks...i'd suggest the one thats simply round, its easiest to remove which ever belt you want...you could look in bed bath beyond type stores, or as said above, a container store...or if you're cheap and crafty, just bend some heavy gauge wire into a loop!
try Ikea thats where i got mine
Yes, I have one, although I can't remember where it came from. It's basically a ring about 8" in diameter with a coat hook. The ring has two ends that you simply push the belt buckle through. It will hold a lot of belts.
I am not sure if they have one---but I bought one of those tie racks that spin and took one of those black binder clips (the really big ones) and clipped the tie rack to my clothes rod and hang my belts on it
http://www.hangers.com/prodtest/850851.shtml Here ya go mam... If you dont won't to buy one, you can just get a really nail and tap it in a stud in the wall and just use that :D
Yup! Just type in "belt hangers" in google, and you'll find tons of places that sell them online...
I found one from "Hanger City" that's on sale for $8.99 (dunno about the shipping tho... check out the first link) and the Container Store (second link)... (There're tons more... just didn't want to list them all)
If you do, they will take you to child services, question you and your parents. You may end up in a foster home in a different location and different school. I would make sure it is very serious, before you do something like this.
If your parents are just hitting you just because for no reason then yes call 911/social service but if you did something wrong and you know you did, its their way of punishment.
Its not like you’re the only kid getting spanked w/a belt or hanger… that’s what my dad and all his brother use to get hit w/when they did something wrong.
Now a day if a parent hits a kid its child abuse that’s why when you go out you always see those bad kids screaming and yelling the head off because their parents are too scared to do anything and that why kids now a days are brats and they do whatever they want.
My parents spanked me with a belt, a hanger, a shoe and
a drum stick. I turned out to be a law biding citizen and
a pretty good mom. What you have received is called a spanking. It is legal because it falls under discipline not
abuse. Now if your back has large red welts and sores
and you have many bruises then yes that is abuse.
911 is for life threatening emergencies. The spanking has already happened and your life is not in danger. Sorry dear but I don't think you can do this.
Technically but who really cares.
Unless you're actually being abused don't waste the cops time.
Edit: Come on people, don't be such alarmists, there's a common sense distinction between a spanking and child abuse. I was spanked and I lived in a much happier and healthier environment than most of my friends and their passive parents.
No. 311 is what you want. It is the non emergency number.
Is your cousin a jerk? before you dial that number understand this: if Child protective services(CPS) intervenes, you may go to a group home. Group homes are horrible places. Trust me when I say a wire hanger or a belt would be paradise compared to the "joy" that is a group home.
Your parents now have a permanent and possibly criminal record.
I am not saying what is going on is right, (if it even is) but there is spanking, hitting, neglect and then out and out abuse. for me, abuse is life threatening. Some of us just have crappy homes. There is sometimes a fine line between a crappy up-bringing and an abusive one.
My guess is, there is nothing wrong with you or your cousin Marine Corp boot camp cant fix.
Yes, you can -- your cousin is correct.
Before I go into what would actually happen and what you should take into consideration when deciding whether or to whom you report your abuse (and hitting a child, especially with an object like a belt or clothes-hanger, is absolutely child abuse; if it would be illegal for a parent to hit another adult, it's just as illegal for them to do the same thing to their child, if not more so) let me just say that I am shocked, disgusted and HORRIFIED at the number of people who responded to this question saying things like "if you did something wrong they can punish you any way they want" or "the cops won't care and you'll get in trouble for calling" or "if Family Services gets involved it will be worse than whatever your parents do to you." These people are wrong.
How do I know? I've worked as a Guardian ad Litem -- an independent person, sometimes but not always a lawyer, appointed by a judge to represent the interests of a child when the legal system becomes involved in that child's family life, whether through reports of abuse or neglect, or due to a "messy" divorce where both parents accuse the other of being the "bad" parent. My training and experience was specifically with cases where a child was abused or neglected and the child was removed from their parents' home temporarily. (Depending on the state, the circumstances of the report, and what kind of abuse the parents are accused of, the child may be separated from their parents for only a few hours, or for several months.)
Not every kid who is removed from their parents' home for their own protection is placed in a group home. In fact, most of them aren't, because there are long waiting lists for group homes, and only kids whose parents have treated them so badly that the court isn't willing to risk sending the child home until after the parent(s) have proved they can learn to do a better job are even put on those lists. Also, many group homes are meant for children with special needs of some kind -- developmental or physical disabilities, drug or alcohol addiction, etc.
There are "private" foster homes, which are usually the home of someone with a kids of their own and a big heart, or with grown children and an "empty nest" they want to offer to kids who need somewhere temporary to stay, or who can't have children of their own and are taking in foster children partly because they hope to eventually adopt a child from the foster-care system. (But most kids in foster care CAN'T be adopted by their foster parents, because even when they've been taken away from their parents for their own safety, the law still recognizes that they're a family, just a separated one.)
The first thing most state agencies do in a situation when there's a report of child abuse and a child needs to be removed from their parents' home, though, is try to find a family member or even a family friend who can have the child stay with them while the agency investigates the accusation of abuse. Now, it is possible, especially if you call on a Friday afternoon, or a holiday, when most of the agency's offices are closed, that you might spend one or two nights somewhere not really appropriate, like a facility for juvenile offenders, but the agencies that investigate child abuse do try to avoid that, even more now than they used to.
(I call them "the agencies" because every state calls its agency a different name: ACS, DCF, CFS, and a bunch of other acronyms. This is one reason why calling the police is a good first step: cops respond to "domestic" calls all the time, where one member of a family is hurting another, so they know exactly what to do and who to call.)
I'll say this again: "Spanking" a child with a belt, hitting them with a hanger, or even hitting them bare-handed (a light tap on a toddler's diaper is a different kind of spanking, and no kid over 5 years old should be getting "spanked" in any way) IS A CRIME. That's not my opinion, it's the law, everywhere in the U.S.
It's not necessary for you to call 911 to get help, especially if the hitting didn't happen right before you call. You can call the "police non-emergency number" which you can find in the front or government section of the phone book (and usually in the "white pages" too, under "[MyCity] Police" or just "Police"). In some areas, you can call 911, inform the operator right away that you need the police but it isn't an emergency, and be transferred to the non-emergency line -- my city is like that -- but other places have real emergencies coming in almost constantly, so you might get in a little trouble if you're not in fear of getting hit again right when you call.
Or you can call the agency that investigates child abuse in your state -- if you don't know their number or name, go to http://211.org to look it up or get the number for your state's toll-free help line (in many areas the number is 211) and an operator on that line can tell you who to call. You could also tell someone like a teacher, doctor, neighbor or relative, but it's better to contact police or the agency yourself if you can.
If you call the police, one or more officers will come to your home. They'll ask you, your parents and anyone else around what happened. Your parents might be arrested (or might not) but if they are, they would most likely be able to get out on bail the same day (or the next day if they're arrested in the evening). The police might be angry, but they'd be angry at your parents for hitting you, not at you for calling. At least one cop would stay with you to make sure you stayed safe until a worker from the agency got there to take you somewhere safe while the agency investigates. Some of the same things might happen if you call the agency first, because agencies sometimes ask police to be there when they go to begin their investigation, in case the parent attacks the child or the worker.
Reporting that your parent is abusing you can be scary, and finding yourself swept up in a bureaucratic system designed to help as many children as possible can be confusing and, yes, also scary. But no child should have to suffer being hit the way you describe. Even if you did something wrong first, hitting is ASSAULT, a crime, and adults aren't allowed to hit kids even if the kid did something illegal first, including hitting or stealing or doing drugs. (If you did do something illegal, that will probably come out, but kids go to special court and usually only get "probation," which is like getting grounded by the police, especially if they've never been in trouble before; and after a kid with a "juvenile" police record turns 18, their record is "sealed" and can't be used against them anymore.)
If the agency's investigation shows there was no abuse, as sometimes happens when parents lie really well, or someone made up an accusation that wasn't true, the child goes home within hours or at most a few days. (And again, you're NOT likely to be sent to some hellhole group home or kiddy-prison.) If they find there was abuse though... well, then something wonderful happens.
The family gets help! A judge will order the parents to get counseling and/or take a parenting class (and the state will pay for this stuff if the parents can't afford it!) so that they can learn ways to punish they kids without hitting, and/or ways to control their anger so they don't hit people just because they're having a bad day. If a parent has a problem with drug or alcohol abuse, or even is having trouble affording food, clothes or shelter for themselves and their kids, the state will help them with that, too. And during all of this time, the parents and their kids will get to visit together (older kids can often refuse visits if they want) even if they can't live together again until the judge is sure that's safe. In many cases, actually, even if there is abuse, the agency or judge will decide it's safe enough for the child to go back home while the family gets help.
See, the #1 priority of family courts is keeping families together. Of course in cases when parents don't want to change, the court will give them lots of chances, but won't send children back to unsafe homes. If a parent is really horrible and refuses to stop abusing their child for years, eventually the court might decide they've used up their chances, but that's pretty rare. Most families that need help get back together after no more than a few months and are much happier afterwards.
So please, if your parents are hitting you the way you describe -- or someone else's parents you know are doing it to them -- call for help. You can call the police, you can call Infoline (211.org), or you can ask an adult you trust to call for you, but please, GET HELP. Help for you and for your family.
No, and don't bother wasting the time of the hard-working cops that would have to respond to this less-than-important phone call. 911 is for emergencies only - not because you didn't get your way and got in trouble for it. Now if you're getting punched, kicked, etc...then you can call 911. Most places it's legal to spank your kids, or smack them with an open palm.
That depends on where they hit you and why. Spankings are for teaching you not to do wrong like lying, stealing, fighting and countless other things. It's called discipline and everybody needs it sometimes. But if they do it when you haven't done anything wrong, I would tell someone, maybe a teacher.
If your parents are hitting/hurting you for no reason, then call child abuse.
On the other hand, if you're doing something to really piss your parents off, then they have every right to spank you.
But why would you wanna call 911, come on.
Well yes you can call 911. Keep in mind, you may get removed from your home. My friend called the police on her dad when she was in high school. She thought he'd go to jail, but instead she got sent to the juvenile girls home for three days.
No, You can if you want call Social Services and ask them to take you away from your parents. They may decline but if you have enough bruises/scars to prove you've been badly beaten they probably will say yes. Is this really what you want though?
unless you didnt do anything wrong
its punishment you need to except.
later think about what youve
done wrong and apologize for wrong doing.
you dont have to call the cops if your the case.
remember...the choice is yours so do the right thing! :)
well it depends on how much the pain is and the situation. if it gets really bad i would. no parent has a right to hit a kid period i dont care what the law says but if my mom would do it to an extent i would but thank god i dont live with her anymore
No, frankly, it gives you the oppurtunity to publish a self-novel describing this experience. Essentially, you'll just become a billionaire. Maybe you should consider arming them with medieval weapons...THAT'D BE KINKY
no..
god made your butt soft so that people could discipline you there.
you could call, but no one would honestly care.
they didn't rape you or anything.
i get disciplined with all of that stuff and it has made me a better pperson.
THEY DIDN'T ABUSE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No, I wouldn't unless you are seriously injured. Call the police (station) or call an abuse hotline. 1-800-4-A-CHILD
Only call 911 if it's an emergency. Call the regular dispatching number if it's not. And you need to be ready to be thrown into the foster care system if you do it.
technically speaking, yes. its considered child abuse. if its their hang they can, but if you have marks, and it happens a lot you could. i wouldn't call 911 though, i'd just tell a guidance counsler...
you can call 911 for any reason though im not sure they will care about your situation unless you were beaten really badly.
Yes, you can.... If its just with a hand it's fine but if it's with a belt or especially a hanger it's illegal.
As punishment? It depends. If the child did something bad enough to piss off the parents, they deserved it.
yes you can that's child abuse
my dad hits me with the belt
You can but they might not take it very seriously. Best bet is don't do it in the first place. it will cause more trouble
omg yes of course you can that is child abuse
yeah but if you really love them you wouldn't do that because then you will feel guilty and you won't be able to get them back.
well if they do it often then yes you could but if its just because you did something wrong and they only did that once then no you should not call 911
It's abuse... I get hit with dull knifes and Horse whips.... just as bad ya know so.... Call child abuse or somethin'
just threaten ur parents that ur gonna tell the police on them... or make them cry and u fake cry.... try " but ur my own mother" or sometihng like that make them feel wat ur feeling
depends for what reasons, is it constant for no reason? you should call the kids help phone
It all depends, if tehy do it all the time it couold be called child abuse. OR at least tell someone.
i think it would be really great and smart to do something, like tell someone or, like you said, call 911. good luck
