I'm not against spanking completely, but against it enough to use it only as a last resort punishment. When my oldest was 2 or so we decided to use time-outs for when they're younger and loss of privileges when they're older (computer/TV time, iPod, friends over, etc). It works well and we've never had to use the last resort, surprisingly!
Spanking is okay if it's in the right context. It teaches self discipline because if the kid doesn't want to get smacked they'll teach themselves not to do the things they get spanked for.
I remember one time I was drawing on my dads work desk and he caught me, spanked me till I was red and guess what I never drew on the desk again.
People who say it's abuse and it's awful and that people should be put in jail for spanking their kids are nuts. The only reason it's seen as abuse now is because delinquent children who hate not getting what they want can get away with saying it is. If a child took his parents to court say, 50 years ago, the judge would probably rule that he deserved it for doing the wrong thing. Where as now, a teary eyed little kid with a 'princess' shirt on would get emancipated and paid for her story.
Not to say there aren't parents out there who overdo it. A belt sounds a little harsh, but I had wooden spoons and hands and that's about it whipped over my backside, and I don't see it as abuse at all.
Hitting is a great way to teach a child not to hit, isn't it? And hitting is a great way to teach children that big people and grown ups shouldn't hit smaller people?
We don't spank now and we won't spank. If you want your child not to throw food, make the punishment relevant to the behavior you want to change-your child throws food, your child cleans up the food. Your child throws food, your child has to be fed like a baby (older children object strongly to these kinds of things.) If you don't want your child to draw on the walls make him or her clean up when drawing on the walls happen, and take away the crayons for a while until the rules can be followed.
The old adage "let the punishment fit the crime" is good one to remember here.
I come from a very strict family where we were spanked. Hands, belts, wooden paddle.
I am very old school.
I spanked my children when they were young up to a certain age then I stopped. They have grown up to be fine young citizens.
But of course, this is just me and my opinion.
As far as not talking to your mom? I think you are wrong. Regardless if she spanked you or not, she is your mother. You are grown up now and you must realize that your mother gave you life and even though you didn't really accept her spanking you, you can't hold a grudge. Not good. Get over it.
It's horrible. My friend is nearly 16, and is abused by her mom. Most days she doesn't come to school because of it, but she's too afraid to say anything. I told my friend, and when I was with her, he came up saying, "hey, I heard your mom whooped your ***.." I felt horrible for ever telling him. I think it's wrong, and scaring your kids won't make them any better of a person. My mom never hit me, and I'm happy about that. Most people who are abused end up abusing others, being violent, and even abusing their own children. An occasion pat on the bottom for an infact is fine, but I firmly believe you should never punish a child while feeling any anger.. It will most likely not turn out as planned. I'm sorry you were abused as a child, hopefully you won't carry on that trait. Good luck. x.
I beleive in spanking to an extent.. I have used it when my girls have endangered themselves or someone else, been very disrespectful, and when they tell a big lie. I do not use an implement, just my hand. It has worked for us, but I do think it is not the answer with all children.
I use to get spankings with the belt, and I do not think it was abuse, but I have never felt the need to use an implement
I believe in spanking children but not with items such as a clothes hanger. There is nothing wrong with showing your child that they aren't supposed to do something but "beating" them is something else. So I would make sure that you know when to stop. I don't think that you should discipline your kids when you are angry because that only makes things worse. Hope this helps!
id say tie a coat hanger to a belt and let your mom know how it feels ,,,why not she obviosly taught nothing wrong of it ,,,,unbelievable would nt do it to an animal ,,,my dad gave me the belt when i was a kid, never hard but it hurt emotionally that he felt i deserved it ,,,,,i did nt i was a good kid ,,,but my anger and lack of confidence made me grow up to make wrong choices ,,,and a coat hanger thats like planned out ,,,strange ,,
we believe in spanking but that sounds a little harsh. if we do spank our children we explain why they are getting spanked and then discuss what they did wrong afterward and have them say sorry. we tell them we forgive them and we dont bring it up again or try to make them feel bad about it. i was spanked as a child but i dont have any horrible memories about it :0( sorry that happened to you!
well it depends. I only spank when my son had endangered himself or someone else. Sometimes I spank when my son is disrespectful (depending on the context) I do it with an open had and on the butt. I usually give him about 4 swats.
I think spanking should never be done when you are angry.
I dont think spanking is the answer not even with the bare hand. And my 4 yr old has certainly tested me on that theory but I have never spanked him and never will. There are other methods than corporal punishments.
Using a belt or hanger is not a spanking that is abuse. There is no need to do that to any child, there are other ways to discipline.
What youre mom did was abuse and nothing ever can justify that ..
I can see why you would not spank youre children ..
to be honest im not sure i have mixed feelings and mixed views about it .
I don't believe in spanking period..
I'm sure there's better ways to disapplin a child..like time our..
I dont have any kids but if I did I sure as hell wouldn't spank them.
I feel that since you are so much bigger than the child you should handle your actions better. Different punishments do exist:)
i think spanking them with a belt or a clothes hanger is pretty extreme.
we got spanked but only when we were being really bad (so not every day)
my mom spanked me. but never my dad.
i think its okay to give them a little slap on the butt.. but not anything that they'll feel the next day.
A belt or a clothes hanger? I don't believe in that at all.
Your mom was abusing you. And I don't believe in it, either.
u should talk to ur mom. she was doing what was best 4 u.
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